This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Randomize
