remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
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