You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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