hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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