i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
