So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
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