My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
You made out with two different species that night
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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