im drinking this country out of the recession.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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