My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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