I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
