I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Randomize
