so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
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