i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
