The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
