There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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