he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
