Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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