The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
