My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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