I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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