You're completely useless in the revolution.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
someone owes me an orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
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