As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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