these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
My brain says no but my pants say off.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
