Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize