Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
That's when you crack a 10am beer
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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