Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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