i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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