After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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