We're facebook friends in real life
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
