it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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