Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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