After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
