im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
