sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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