Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
