no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
