is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
