how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I have post one night stand depression
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