So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
