peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Randomize
