I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
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