So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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