I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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