So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
