The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
