If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
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No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
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I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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