dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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