i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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