One girl and one boy is just not enough.
If that was your dad, he is hot
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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