Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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