Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
