wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
