Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Randomize
