Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
