Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
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