I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
