I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
