new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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