Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
