Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
