Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
