Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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