planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
